Gearing Up

Llama Trek Gear List

“Appropriate clothing and gear are essential for students to be able to have fun and succeed on a wilderness course.”

Pack Essentials:

1) Duffle bag for storing gear. Large, but not large enough for mom to fit into.

2) Day pack and 2 water bottles, one for drinking, one for clutching close to your liquid heart.

3) Sleeping bag, because you will be so exhausted each night that you will sleep and dream peaceful dreams and not wake up screaming or stand up suddenly then try and run for your parents room knocking down the tent in the process.

4)  Sleeping pad, because life is hard.

5) Sunglasses because life is bright.

6) Excellent foul weather gear because, while you love the water, it’s good to be able to guard against it sometimes.

7) Whistle. If you blow it with the strength of your panic, surely your mom will come running.

8) Bandanna to flag down the stars.

9) Biodegradable soap, toothbrush and toothpaste for personal hygiene. (Ha ha ha ha ha)

10) Broken in hiking shoes (to carry you away from me.)

11) Compass (to find your way back.)

Please don’t  bring:

sharp objects, electronics, surplus prescription medication or pets.

Optional items:

demons, trauma, low self esteem, nonexistent frustration tolerance, paranoia, inappropriate language, sarcasm, disdain, surplus energy, nonstop talking, delusions, tears.

Treat your llama with respect. They will carry your stuff on the trek, and you must take care of them. Your llama does not know that you are crazy. Your llama does not know that you often feel terrified, confused and alone. Your llama thinks you’re handsome, kind, helpful, and that you are in the lead.

We advise you to keep a journal, particularly you Milo, for your anxious mother who worries about you being without her in the woods for 10 days even though we are all trained professionals and have seen the likes of you (and worse) through wilderness experiences for more than 30 years. But the journal would be a lovely surprise for your mom, so she can know that you met your goal of completion that you missed her but that you went on, that you were uncomfortable, but you went on, that you were worried and unsure that you could climb that mountain or get across that stream or strap your stuff tightly to the llama or read the map or poop in the woods, or hear a ghost story and then get to sleep, but you went on.

You went on and on.

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